Navigating Grief During the Festive Season: Emotions, Coping and Finding Support

Navigating Grief During the Festive Season: Emotions, Coping and Finding Support
Posted on 24 December 2024

The festive season is often described as “the most wonderful time of the year.” However, for those grieving the loss of a loved one, it can feel like the most difficult. 


The joy and togetherness often associated with Christmas and New Year celebrations can amplify feelings of loss, loneliness, and sadness. At McDonald and Tomlin Funerals, we understand that grief doesn’t take a holiday, and the festive season can be particularly challenging for many. In this post, we explore the emotions you might face during this time and offer practical strategies to help you cope.


The Complex Emotions of Grief During the Holidays
Grief is deeply personal and can manifest in a variety of ways. During the holiday season, these emotions may feel more intense due to the emphasis on family, traditions, and shared memories.


Here are some common feelings people experience:


1. Loneliness and Isolation

Seeing others surrounded by loved ones can highlight the absence of the person you’ve lost. Even in a room full of people, grief can make you feel alone.


2. Guilt

You may feel guilty for not being able to enjoy the festivities or for moments when you do find joy. Alternatively, there could be guilt tied to unresolved issues with the deceased.


3. Anxiety

The thought of attending gatherings or reliving traditions without your loved one can cause anxiety. You might feel uncertain about how others expect you to behave or how to manage your emotions in social settings.


4. Sadness and Depression

The season’s cheer can serve as a stark reminder of what—or who—is missing, leading to deep sadness or depression. Memories of past holidays can trigger an overwhelming sense of loss.


5. Resentment or Anger

It’s not uncommon to feel resentful or angry—at the situation, at the holiday season for continuing as though nothing has changed, or even at others for not understanding your pain.


How to Cope With Grief During the Festive Season
While nothing can erase the pain of losing someone you love, there are ways to navigate the holiday season in a way that honours your grief while still allowing moments of peace and comfort.


1. Acknowledge Your Feelings

Grief is natural, and it’s okay to feel however you’re feeling. Allow yourself to experience your emotions without judgment. Suppressing grief often makes it harder to process in the long term.


2. Set Realistic Expectations

You don’t have to participate in every tradition or attend every gathering. Be honest with yourself about what you can handle, and don’t be afraid to say no to situations that might overwhelm you.


3. Honour Your Loved One

Finding ways to remember and celebrate your loved one can bring comfort. Light a candle in their memory, prepare their favourite holiday dish, or dedicate a small ornament on your tree to them. These rituals can make their absence feel less stark.


4. Create New Traditions

If old traditions feel too painful, consider starting new ones that better reflect your current reality. This could be volunteering, spending time in nature, or celebrating in a completely different way.


5. Seek Support

Lean on your support network, whether that’s family, friends, or a grief support group. Don’t hesitate to share how you’re feeling—chances are, others want to help but may not know how.


6. Practice Self-Care

Take time for yourself amidst the hustle and bustle. Whether it’s a quiet walk, reading, or practicing mindfulness, self-care can help you manage stress and emotions.


7. Limit Social Media

Scrolling through festive posts on social media can exacerbate feelings of loneliness or sadness. Consider taking a break or limiting your time online.


8. Reach Out for Professional Help

Sometimes, grief can feel too heavy to bear alone. Speaking with a counsellor or therapist who specialises in grief can provide valuable tools and strategies for coping.


The Role of Funerals and Memorials in Grieving
Funerals and memorial services play a vital role in the grieving process. They provide an opportunity to say goodbye, share memories, and find comfort in the presence of others who knew and loved the deceased. If your loved one’s service took place recently, reflecting on those moments can offer solace.

If you feel the need for further closure, consider planning a small, personal memorial during the festive season. This could be as simple as visiting their resting place or holding a family gathering to share stories about them.


Why the Holidays Can Trigger Grief
The holiday season is filled with sensory reminders—songs, smells, decorations—that can bring back memories of past celebrations with your loved one. Additionally, the societal expectation to feel cheerful can create pressure and conflict when you’re grappling with sadness.

Understanding these triggers can help you prepare and plan for them. For example, if certain songs are too painful to hear, create a playlist of soothing or uplifting alternatives. If gatherings are overwhelming, plan an early exit strategy or give yourself permission to skip them altogether.


Helping Others Cope With Grief During the Festive Season

If someone you know is grieving, it can be hard to know what to say or do. Here are some ways to offer support:

• Acknowledge Their Loss: Let them know you’re thinking of them and their loved one. Avoid clichés like “They’re in a better place,” which can feel dismissive.


• Be Present: Sometimes, simply being there to listen or sit in silence can mean the world.


• Offer Practical Help: Grief can make everyday tasks feel overwhelming. Offer to help with holiday shopping, cooking, or decorating.


• Respect Their Wishes: If they prefer solitude or minimal celebration, respect their boundaries.


Finding Hope and Meaning
Though grief can feel all-encompassing, it’s important to remember that it’s also a testament to the love you shared with your loved one. Over time, the sharp pain of loss can give way to a quieter, more manageable sense of remembrance.


The festive season, though challenging, can also provide opportunities for reflection, connection, and even healing. By acknowledging your grief and finding ways to cope, you can navigate this season in a way that feels true to you and your journey.


At McDonald and Tomlin Funerals, We’re Here for You

At McDonald and Tomlin Funerals, we understand the complexities of grief and are committed to supporting you every step of the way. Whether you’re planning a service, seeking guidance, or simply need someone to talk to, we’re here to help.


If you’re looking for additional resources or support this holiday season, don’t hesitate to contact us. Remember, you are not alone.



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For general enquiries, we kindly request contacting us during our standard business hours, from 9 AM to 4 PM, Monday-Friday. Outside of this timeframe, our availability is reserved solely for urgent matters necessitating immediate attention, such as the coordination of deceased collection. For such urgent matters, please call our out of hours team on 0787 2379 146 .